The Amazingly True, Sometimes Bizarre Story of How I Came to Be- Episode 1: A Startling Revelation

Hello dear friends! Boy, do I have a whale of a tale for you. It’s basically the story of my life, and it’s long. Really long.  So I will break this up into installments, and if you stick with me, you may find it as interesting as anything on the Lifetime or the Hallmark channels. (If you know anyone who works for one of those, pass this on to them. I think it could make a good movie.)

I had to use the Googler to check, but December 20^th 1967 was on a Wednesday. I was born in Midwest City, Oklahoma, and my parents were Jessie and Geraldine Bartley….. or were they?  I had a fairly normal childhood. When I was about 4, we moved to Del City, Oklahoma, where I would live until I graduated high school. I had four siblings- in order of age, they were brother Randy (aka Bart), twin sisters Sande and Sherry, and Tami. Yes, I was the baby, and have been reminded of that often by Tami throughout most of my life. And being the baby brings great responsibility- I was spoiled. I got pretty much whatever I wanted, many times from my sister Sherry, who lived at home most of my childhood. Latest Star Wars action figures? Got em. A need to be driven across town with my first BFF Perry McMahon to get the latest comic books? Got it. A really cool Mr. Scott Star Trek red shirt? Got it. I had everything I needed, and a lot of what I wanted.

 Even so, my parents were not wealthy people. Dad was a butcher in a grocery store, and mom was the manager of a local dry cleaners. We always had plenty of meat, and freshly cleaned and pressed clothes. Bart and Sande were already out of the house, because I neglected to mention that they were all WAY older than me. That was really the only thing that seemed out of the ordinary to me growing up, was that my parents were much older than most of my friends’ parents. (Mom was 45 when I was born, Dad was 48- elderly, right??) Later, when I would ask, Mom would just reply with some vague answer about me being unexpected, or something like that. But I really didn’t think about it that much. Looking back, I had everything I needed from a family- people who loved me and cared for me, and brought me up to be the awesome, kind compassionate person that I am today. My childhood was a generally happy one, and I really have no major complaints.

The first event that really changed my life was the death of my father when I was 16 years old. For most of my life, he was not in the best of health. He was a war veteran, a recovering alcoholic, and a chain smoker. He had stopped drinking when I was a baby. But he smoked like a fiend until the day he died. When I was in junior high, I recall my father going to the doctor, and the doc telling him that unless he quit smoking and lost some weight, he would probably be dead within five years. The doc was correct, and on an early December Sunday morning in 1984, he dropped dead on our kitchen floor. Everything about that morning is still pretty vivid to me, as it was the first time in my young life that tragedy really touched me. Everything seemed surreal that week- my choir Christmas concert was the next night, and I still participated in it. We buried him later that week, and being a veteran, he had a military funeral. (For years any time I saw a film or show with a military funeral in it, I would start sobbing.) And so, just a few weeks before my birthday and Christmas, I found myself fatherless. Or…. was I??

Now it was just mom and I around the old homestead. Sherry had married and moved away, as had Tami. When it came time for me to choose a college, I picked one fairly close to home, because I didn’t feel right about being too far away from mom, as she would be living alone. I needn’t have worried- Geraldine was a fiercely independent woman, more than capable of taking care of herself. I came home most weekends, and she would supply me with a few groceries, some spending cash, clean laundry, and send me on my way again.

However, the university I attended was somewhat pricey, and she wasn’t able to pay the tuition. I had to take out student loans and join the Army Reserve to pay for my learnin’. After a few years of college, I had decided that since I was immensely talented, that I would become an actor. There was no doubt in my mind that I would succeed. A friend of mine was moving back to his home state of California, and so I made the decision to quit school, move to California with him, and attend a prestigious acting school which I had been accepted to. I left college in December, and decided to live with mom and work for six months to save money before my cross-country trek. It was while I was living at home that an enormous bombshell dropped on my head. One day I was chillin’ in my room and caught snippets of a phone conversation Mom was having. She didn’t have the softest voice, so if I was anywhere in the house, I could usually hear everything she said. Phrases like “When he starts asking questions like that, I don’t know what to tell him”, and other mysterious sounding statements intrigued me. It slowly dawned on me- was she talking about me? I started listening more intently, and decided she WAS talking about me. So I decided to confront her when she got off the phone. Immediately, she seemed to get flushed, and started stammering nonsensical responses. I could tell she was not being truthful, and I called her on it. I guess at that moment she finally decided to come clean, and drop a big truth-bomb on me. With teary eyes and a wavering voice, she explained to me that she and dad were not actually my biological parents. My heart started pounding as I struggled to process what she was telling me. That wasn’t even the most shocking news- that came next when she told me my actual birth mother was none other than my “sister”, Sherry. I don’t remember too clearly the rest of our conversation, because I was in a bit of shock. In the span of a few minutes, my life was altered once again. I do remember staying fairly calm. There were no histrionics, no dramatic displays of emotion on my part. I think I was too flabbergasted to really respond. So I just listened. I had a multitude of questions, but most of them I kept to myself, figuring I would wait until I could talk to Sherry face to face. I think the thing that astounded me the most was- how did these women in my family, who loved to talk, keep this secret from me for 21 years? Well played, ladies, well played.

Not too long after this stunning revelation, Sherry and I met face to face. She was visibly upset- so I tried to ease her mind by telling her I wasn’t angry. And that was the truth. I was confused, perplexed, and inquisitive, but never outraged. She explained to me why the deception took place. She was a single 21- year-old woman who got pregnant in the late 1960’s in the buckle of the Bible Belt. Our family had strong religious beliefs, so they felt it would be best if Mom and Dad (my grandparents) took me and raised me as their own. Sherry said they had always meant to tell me sooner, but I think fear of my reaction kept them from doing so. She claimed my biological father was a GI in the Air Force who was stationed at Tinker AFB for a brief period of time, soon to be shipped out to Viet Nam. She said that this man did not know that Sherry was pregnant, and therefore, she never heard from him again. Over the years, Sherry and I only spoke of him a few times, and she gave me few details, other than his name: Byron (last name withheld). I could tell she was always uncomfortable talking about the situation, so I never pressed her for more information. I accepted the fact that I would never know my biological father, and that more than likely, he didn’t even survive his time in Viet Nam.

So life went on. I did move to sunny southern California, and spent a few years languishing away as a “starving actor”. I went to school for a bit, dropped out, did a few plays, was an extra in the Oliver Stone film The Doors (yes, if you know where, you can see me for a few seconds), and waited tables. But I came to the realization that I could toil away for years and never get anywhere in the business, so I loaded up the U-Haul again and headed back to Oklahoma. During this time Sherry and her family left the state, so when I got back, she was gone. Why is this significant? Although the family secret was finally out of the bag, I really didn’t have to alter my dynamics with Sherry because we weren’t around each other for several years. Everything else was business as usual. I still thought of Geraldine as “Mom”, and my brother and sisters were just that. And I still thought of Sherry’s young daughter, Lynn, as my niece, when I knew she was my only real “blood” sibling. I would deal with my feelings about Sherry later, when I was forced to. In the meantime I finished college, met my blushing bride and pitched woo (for that story look at my previous blog posts), got married, got a teaching job, and settled down. Sherry and Lynn eventually made their way back to Oklahoma as Sherry’s marriage dissolved. Now I had to decide what Sherry was to me. I couldn’t really call her “sister” anymore, but there was no way I was calling her “mom”- I only had one mom, and that was the tough old girl who had raised me and loved me as her own.

Things went on pretty much in this way until something else altered our lives- I was going to be a daddy! As Cindy and I were about to welcome our first little bundle of joy into the world we were thrilled, but it also brought more questions into play. It forced me to think again about bio-dad, as family medical history questions were asked. I had to tell the nurses that I didn’t know- and I think, for the first time, that bothered me. This was probably the first time that I actually considered trying to locate him, to see if he was still alive, and to possibly contact him. But the idea seemed so far-fetched that I shoved it back down into the crevices of my mind, to be dealt with later. We also had to make a decision about Sherry’s role with our child- who would she be? Cindy and I decided that we wanted to be honest with our children. We decided that Sherry would indeed be a grandma to our kids, but so would Mom. I talked to Mom about this idea, and she seemed fine with it (at least to my face- I don’t know if she felt differently privately). And of course Sherry was ecstatic about the idea. So it was settled- our children would have a “Grandma Sherry” and a “Meemaw”- two grannies for the price of one! However, this was all a bit much for me, and so I did something I had never done before- I went to see a counselor. I needed some expert help on how to sort through all of these family issues and relationships. I went for a few months, and after several sessions, my counselor remarked on how well-adjusted I seemed to be about the whole thing. And I was. For several years, at least……

TV, or not TV- That is the question.....

Well how’s this for a shocker!! It’s only been a month, and I’m already posting another entry?? I know you’re asking yourself “What have I done to be awarded with such a glorious prize??” The answer is- nothing! It is only out of the kindness and generosity of my massive heart that I bestow this entry upon you. You may now weep tears of joy, for such a short wait.

Last time I created a list of my favorite films of all time. Some of you agreed with many of my selections- and others (my beautiful bride) chided me for including too many fantasy/sci-fi/comic book films. Just recently, in my Film class at school, we watched several episodes of a TV show that I absolutely love. Which sparked a conversation between me and wifey- what are my favorite TV shows of all time? And thus- a blog entry is born!!

Television has always played a major role in my life. From the PBS educational shows as a kid, to the more bizarre, cerebral shows that I enjoy watching today, I’ve always loved TV. Yes, I know, too much TV rots your brain, yada yada yada. In my defense, I don’t watch near as much TV now as I have in various periods of my life. But there has been a lot over the years. So once again, to try and pare down all of these great programs into a shorter list is a somewhat daunting task. But lucky for you, I am up to it! So strap in kids- here we go!

10. The Brady Bunch- “Here’s a story…. About a lovely lady….” Yes, I am going back to youth for the first show on my list. This is one of the first shows that I can remember watching the same episodes multiple times. Thanks to syndication over the years, I have seen every episode, and can, in fact, quote multiple episodes. My nieces, Shannon and Shelly, and I would watch them over and over and incorporate bits of dialogue from the shows into our conversations with each other. Yes it’s cheesy, and poorly written and acted at times, but it kept drawing me in over and over. Who can forget the trips to the Grand Canyon and Hawaii? Oh my nose? Phil Packer? Peter’s twin? Marcia Marcia Marcia? I could go on and on. But I won’t.

9. The Walking Dead- Let me preface this by saying I do not like horror films. I don’t like gore. However- there’s something about this show that I find oddly irresistible. To me it’s more than just a show about zombies killing and eating people. Which they do. It’s a survival story. And once again, I am really drawn to the characters, and enjoy watching them remake themselves as they find themselves stranded in a desolate, post-apocalyptic society. I love watching each one of them struggle to cling to their humanity, while adapting to the brutality of the new world that they live in. I’ve even found myself weeping a time or two, although I was derided by my friend Shawn McEvoy for tearing up at a zombie show. There are times when Rick Grimes can rival Jack Bauer for his bad-assness, and who doesn’t love Daryl “Motherf----n” Dixon? A show that is definitely not afraid to kill off characters, which makes me nervous because there are several that I gave grown fond of and would hate to see them zombiefied.

8. The West Wing- Another creation by renowned playwright and screenwriter, Aaron Sorkin. This show had all of the Sorkin trademarks- really smart characters speaking dialogue that is way over everyones’ heads in a machine-gun staccato fashion as they’re walking through a building. I loved the look at big time politics, and especially in today’s political climate, it was nice seeing them portrayed as real people who actually cared about the people they served. It had a stellar cast, and Martin Sheen was one of the best fictional Presidents ever. I have to admit, sometimes I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but it was still riveting.

7. Friday Night Lights- “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” This is the motto of the mythical Dillon Panthers, lead by Coach Eric Taylor. I’m pretty sure Coach Taylor is the wisest coach that has ever lived. This show is about a small town in Texas, where high school football rules over all. Follow the exploits of Coach Taylor, his wife Tami, and multiple other supporting characters. My wife, who is not at all a football fan, loved the show as well. It’s only 5 seasons, and we binge watched, greedily devouring episode after episode. I have to warn you- Season 2 is pretty ridiculous, but if you get past that, it’s pretty great. And it’s one of the rare shows that has a series finale that is immensely satisfying.

6. Mad Men- Don Draper is one of the most flawed, unlikeable protagonists to ever lead a show. But I can’t help but root for him, even as he disappoints me time after time. I just can’t quit him. This show follows a group of advertising execs in the 1960’s. It was definitely a different time back then, and this show perfectly encapsulates what our country was going through at that time. The writing is whip smart, and the acting is superb. It’s a tricky show to recommend, because I know not everyone will like it. This series will be ending in 2 weeks, and I can’t wait to see what will become of Don, Peggy, Roger, Pete, and the rest of the gang.

And now- Bartley’s Top 5 TV Shows!!!!

5. 24- Jack Bauer is the king of bad-assery. That’s all you need to know. This is definitely one of those shows that multiple times I was literally on the edge of my seat to see how Jack would get out of his latest predicament. If you’ve never seen The Jack Bauer Power Hour, each season was 24 episodes- each hour happened in real time. Jack had more bad days than anyone could possibly have, and his life was a tragedy because of it. But if you needed saving, Jack was the guy to call. I even saw him kill a dude with his thighs one time. The last season did get pretty bizarre, but the legacy of Jack Bauer was strong enough to overcome one weak season.

4. Freaks and Geeks- This was the show I recently showed to my Film class. I typically only use the word “tragedy” to describe actual tragic events, but it was a tragedy that this show was cancelled after only one season. No show has ever captured the ecstasy, pain, and heartbreak of my high school days then this one. Set in a Detroit high school in 1980, it follows the story of Lindsay Weir, as she struggles to break away from her rigid, boring life. She befriends the schools “freaks” (we called them “hoods” or “stoners” at our school) to attempt to broaden her horizons and break out of her shell. Her little brother Sam is in school as well, and his friends were the “geeks”- this is the group I identified with. I remember having some of the very same conversations that Sam, Bill and Neal have in the show. I even had the exact same Darth Vader poster in my room that Sam has in his. This show helped launch the careers of James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Jason Segel. It was a comedy that had heart- in any given episode I would be laughing hysterically one moment, and weeping the next. If this show had lasted longer, it may have been higher on my list. But alas.

3. Seinfeld- The greatest comedy of all time. No doubt about it. Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer were perfectly cast, and had greater chemistry and comic timing than any other ensemble I’ve ever seen. The comedy could range from subtle, to satire, to broad slapstick, and it was all executed flawlessly. George Costanza is easily one of the most uncomfortable characters ever created. There are so many classic episodes, but the one that springs to mind first is the “Master of my Domain” episode. It’s comic gold. There are multiple catch phrases that have worked their way into our society’s vernacular. What saddens me is that I use many of them in my classroom, but am met with only dull, vacant stares, because these punk kids have not experienced the genius of Seinfeld. (I actually met Jerry Seinfeld once in OKC- he was very friendly and he gave us autographs.) In fact, I’m pretty sure that when Cindy and I got engaged, she used this Seinfeld phrase to describe me:  "He is a loathsome, offensive brute, and yet I can't look away."

2. Twin Peaks- Coffee. Cherry pie. Backwards talking dancing little people. When Twin Peaks premiered back in 1990 it was like nothing I had ever seen on television. I was immediately sucked in to the moody quirkiness of the town and its characters, and the question "Who killed Laura Palmer?" was on everyone's lips. I wrote about the show extensively in a previous blog post, so go check that out. And recently it was announced that there would finally be a third season next year after a 25 year break, but now it may not happen because of budget disputes with the director David Lynch. Please please please please give him what he wants. I need to see a new season!!!

1. Lost- Whenever I mention this show to someone, I get one of two very passionate responses: "I loved it!!!" or "I hated the ending!! They didn't answer anything!!!" I think it really depends on your personality type. Those of us who loved it were there for the ride and the characters, and it didn't matter that they didn't answer every little mystery that popped up over a six season run. To me, it was a groundbreaking show that had everything I could ever want from a TV show- mystery, intrigue, action, romance, humor, and tragedy. I laughed at the antics of Hurley and Sawyer. I cringed at the dastardliness of Ben Linus, one of TV's greatest villains. I sobbed violently during more than one episode, as this was a show that was willing to kill off major, beloved characters. I rooted every week for Jack and Locke to somehow come together, and merge their unwavering beliefs in Faith and Science. And I thought the finale was beautiful. It amazes me when I talk to people about the finale who just don't get it. They think that it shows that the whole show was nothing but a dream- but that couldn't be further from the truth. Were there plot holes at times?Yes. Lapses in logic? Sure. But as I've stated before, If I truly love a plot and its characters, I am willing to overlook some things. To me this show transcended just being a show I watched on TV. It was a weekly event that I greatly anticipated. I loved the journey so much- I don't think I'll ever have another one like it. 

Honorable Mention- These shows almost made the cut, but missed for various reasons:

MASH

Community

The Flash

Friends

ER

Star Trek (original)

Parenthood

Cheers

Fargo

What do you think kids? What did I miss? Please add your favorites!!

PS- You’ll notice there are no HBO or Showtime shows on my list. I’m sure some of these are outstanding, but I have steadfastly refused to pay extra for these services. Perhaps I’ll watch some of them someday, but not now.

I Like the Mooviez!!

Hey boys and girls! Your old Uncle Scotty has been away for way too long! I knew it had been awhile since I’d written, but it’s been three friggin’ months! So sorry for the delay- let’s get crack-a-lackin!

Numerous times over the vast expanse that has been my life, I have been asked the same question: “What is your favorite movie?” Most of the time I just shake off the question and give some vague response. Those of you that know me, know that I have a great love for the cinema. I always have. There’s something that’s so exciting to me about going into a dark theatre with my box of Milk Duds and watching stories unfold on the screen before me. And over the last several decades there have been many that I have loved. But to pick favorites? That’s tricky. So I sat down and put pen to paper and tried to create a “Top 10” list of my favorite movies. It was hard, believe you me. But I think I’ve whittled away my list down to these 10. However, a year from now it may be different. I guess these are my favorite right now. In fact, I currently teach a Film as Literature class at the high school, and several of these I show in class. (Yes, I’m desperately trying to educate these punk kids on what “good film” is.) So here goes- starting with Number 10 and working our way up:

10. Dead Poets Society- This movie speaks to me on many levels. First of all, you have to talk about the brilliant performance by Robin Williams as the inspirational teacher Mr. Keating. His performance is hilarious, and heartbreaking. It’s a stellar cast of young actors, including Ethan Hawke and Robert Sean Leonard. The fact that he’s an English Teacher (like myself) appeals to me as well. Usually when I watch this, I immediately want to be more like him. (I’m usually not, because I don’t want students falling off their desks.) It has a great story, great script, and a great cast. It makes me laugh and moves me to tears. Wonderful film.

9. Blue Velvet- This is a movie I would not recommend to everyone. To me, it is David Lynch at the top of his game back in the 1980’s. It has everything you would expect from a Lynch film- dark, moody surrealism, with a healthy dose of Americana and apple pie. A young Kyle MacLachlan plays the protagonist. His world is calm and innocent at the beginning, but he is soon mixed up with one of the most bizarre cast of characters one could meet. This group is led by Dennis Hopper playing Frank Booth- one of the scariest, funniest, strangest characters I have ever seen on film. This movie definitely takes a dark turn, so proceed with caution.

8. A Few Good Men- “You can’t handle the truth!!!” This iconic line is bellowed by my favorite actor, Jack Nicholson, as Lt. Col. Nathan Jessup. Recently I showed this in my class at school, and as this line was said, my class burst into giggles. They had all heard the phrase, but didn’t know where it came from! (Kids today…..) This movie, based on a play by Aaron Sorkin, has everything you want from a courtroom drama. The script is great, and it’s fun watching actors spit out Sorkin’s snappy dialogue. It was way back before Tom Cruise got weird, and did I mention it has Jack Nicholson? My brother-in-law Brian, who really doesn’t watch too many movies, has memorized several key phrases from the film, and it’s always a joy when I see him to see how much of it we can work into our own dialogue.

7. Star Wars- Episode IV: A New Hope- Now when I was a wee lad and saw this movie for the first time back in the summer of 1977, it was just called Star Wars. And it. Blew. My. Tiny. Mind. I had never seen anything like it. And neither had millions of other people. George Lucas, the creative mastermind, had only made a few films before this one, and there was really no indication that this would be the massive cultural phenomenon that it is today. So why isn’t this groundbreaking film higher on my list? Well- although Lucas was highly imaginative, I really don’t think he’s much of a screenwriter or director. When you watch this now, it’s “clunkiness” jumps out at you. Yes, he was working on a shoestring budget, but much of the dialogue was horribly cheesy, and even though he had good actors, even they had trouble making it sound good (as Harrison Ford has said publicly). But the first Star Wars film will always have a place in my heart for introducing us to this marvelous galaxy, far far away.

6. Batman Begins- Comic books have always played an important role in my life. I began collecting them avidly when I was in the second grade, and my best friend at that time, Perry McMahon, and I would force our parents to haul us all over Oklahoma City regularly so that we could satiate our comic book fix. There were multiple titles and characters that I collected, but one stood out above all- The Batman. Before I (sadly) sold my comic collection last summer, I had amassed hundreds of Batman comics- in fact, I had every issue of “Batman” dating back to 1972. And this movie, Batman Begins, captured the spirit and the essence of the character that none of the previous incarnations of screen Batman had done. It was a great movie that just happened to be about a guy who decides to dress up as a bat and fight crime. Christopher Nolan managed to take this ridiculous sounding concept, and make it look like it could actually happen. Christian Bale nailed it as the Caped Crusader, and it ended with me dying to see more. And I would- more on that later.

And now- “dun-dun-dun”- the TOP FIVE BARTLEY FILMS!!!

5. The Lord of the Rings- The Fellowship of the Ring- OK, I have a confession to make. And in doing so, I may have to turn in my nerd card. As a kid, I never read The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings books. So I did not join in the collective geekgasm when it was announced that there would be big budget films made of those books. Then I started seeing the previews, and I thought- well gee, that looks pretty good. When this movie opened, I went in knowing almost nothing about the story- and I LOVED it. I fell in love with the characters, and the worlds that Peter Jackson created. I even felt myself overcome with emotion at times (“Fly you fools, fly!”). And I was hooked. And I couldn’t wait until the next one, which would be out the following year. The story of Frodo and Sam’s journey is one that I found to be compelling. And it gave me a line that I get to share with my students on occasions of their failure- “YOU--- SHALL NOT----PASS!!!!”

4. Return of the Jedi- In 1983, I attended a “graduation” ceremony celebrating the completion of my 9^th grade year. I was finishing Jr. High, and was prepared to move on to High School. But on that day, immediately after the ceremony was over, I had my sister whisk me to the Heritage Park Movie Theatre, where I would see the 12:00 show of the premiere of Return of the Jedi. I had been patient for 3 years, but the wait was over. And it completely lived up to my young teen expectations. Leia is Luke’s brother? Yikes! Luke and his dad duking it out for Universal supremacy whilst a shriveled, evil Emperor cheers them on? Wowza! Ewoks?!? I loved every second of it. I even teared up a bit as they placed Anakin’s body on the funeral pyre at the end. I walked out of the theatre, turned, got back in line, and bought a ticket for the very next showing. The force was strong with me that day. Looking back, I still think it was a fitting sendoff for our heroes (even though they are coming back this December, 30 years later!!).

3. Return of the King- Yes, movie number 4 and 3 both start with “Return”, and they are both the third film of a trilogy. I already expressed my love for The Lord of the Rings earlier. This film wraps up a trilogy better than just about any other. It’s also the only one on my list that actually won the “Best Picture” Oscar. Peter Jackson knocked this out of the park. It was an emotionally satisfying end for all of my favorite characters. And although some people grumbled about the “multiple endings”, I had no problem with it. In fact, I probably wept a little more with each one as I said goodbye to Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, and Gimli. I think I’m about to start crying now….

2. The Dark Knight- What can I say about this film that hasn’t been said? I told you about my love for the Batman, and he has arguably the greatest Rogues Gallery in all of comics. This film marked the return of the Joker to the Silver Screen. He was portrayed previously by the great Jack Nicholson, and when they announced that pretty-boy actor Heath Ledger was playing him this time, I was more than trepidatious. I needn’t have worried- Ledger’s Joker was brilliant, and the film was an exceptional crime drama featuring Batman and the Joker. I toyed with making this my #1 film, but the fact that I feel the third act of the film slows down a bit kept it from taking the top spot. The interrogation scene in the middle of the film is one of my all-time favorite scenes in all of cinema.

And the Number One Bartley film is…………

The Empire Strikes Back- This film is flawless. It’s the greatest sequel ever, far surpassing the first Star Wars film in every way. All elements of filmmaking come together for the perfect movie storm- the acting, script, story, direction, and action. John Williams’ score is perfect- every note evoking a particular mood or emotion. Irvin Kershner, the director, frames every scene perfectly, and some of it is just gorgeous to look at. I especially love the lighting- each locale and situation is lit perfectly, with the proper shadows and colors to convey a sense of dread throughout the film. The immaculate scene is when Luke finally confronts Vader in Bespin towards the end. As Luke slowly mounts the stairs to face-off against his nemesis (and his dad! Dude!), the shot is bathed in blues and reds, and we see only the silhouettes of Luke and Vader, and the glows of their light sabers. I get chills every time this scene comes on, and I am riveted throughout the entire duel, until Darth drops the parental bombshell. I can tell you that in May of 1980, 12 year old Scott Bartley’s mind literally exploded. I absolutely love this film.

There you have it, dear friends. Below is a list of Honorable Mention films, which almost made the list, but didn’t. And I know I’m leaving some off.

Honor Roll:

Silence of the Lambs

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Inception

Back to the Future

Unforgiven

Saving Private Ryan

Raiders of the Lost Ark

How about it kids? What would you add to the list? Or take off? Let me hear it!

You Bet I Do!!

           

               “It was 20 years ago today……” This was the opening line to arguably one of the greatest albums ever recorded- Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by that little pop quartet, the Beatles. And it was 20 years ago today that Cindy Todd, in front of God and a bunch of family and friends, swore to love me in sickness and in health, and in blah, blah, blah, till death do us part. And so far, she has lived up to that oath, because we’re both still kicking, and we are still married. Whouda thunk???

                Let’s get a little perspective. Let’s borrow Doc Brown’s flux capacitor and go back in time to 1994. I finally graduated college and, breaking my girlfriend Cindy’s heart, moved to Texas with my college roomie Shawn McEvoy. We found a decent little apartment in Arlington, and I got a job as an Assistant Manager at Blockbuster Video. (Remember video stores??) Cindy was working in the Admissions Dept at OBU. That summer Shawn and I saw a few good movies- “The Lion King” had just opened, as well as “Forrest Gump”. (I’m sure Shawn and I painted a fine picture as two adult men openly sobbing in the theatre as Forrest buried Jenny.) We also watched former football player OJ Simpson lead police on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in his white Ford Bronco. And at the end of the year, the Dallas Cowboys were marching their way to play in the Super Bowl in early 1995. But I had other plans- I finally manned up, bought a ring, and when Cindy came for a visit that summer, I popped the big question. Her immediate response was “Are you serious??!!??” Then she said “I don’t know. I have to think about it.” And she thought about it- overnight. That was an awkward evening, I can assure you. But the next day, after I had been sweating all night, she finally said “Yes”. And so began our long, epic journey together.

               

                Cindy became Mrs. Bartley on Dec. 31, 1994. New Year’s Eve. It was cold that night, my friends. We got married at 6:00 at the Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Oklahoma City, with a reception immediately following. Of course, being good Baptist boys and girls, there was no imbibing of spirits, nor was there any gesticulating to music. But a good time was had by all. Cindy and I stayed at a B & B that night, while we hear that several of our friends went out to some local honky tonk and danced and partied the night away. Some people even met spouses there, but that’s another story.

                Being a responsible husband, I had to get a real job. I had been managing the local movie theater in Shawnee since my return to Oklahoma, but I needed something more stable. So I turned to the one thing that I was trained for in college- teaching. Fortunately my alma mater, Del City High, was in need of an English Teacher at the semester, and they welcomed me with open arms. Cindy and I settled down in Shawnee where we have remained ever since.

                A lot has happened over 20 years. We have both gone through the “better and worse”, and we have always been there for each other for all of it. There were births: Sabrina, Marilyn, and our twin sons. And there have been deaths: our twin sons, Cindy’s dad Bob, and my mothers, Sherry and Geraldine. There have been job changes: after Cindy had worked loyally for years at a local semi-Christian college, she was unceremoniously dumped. But she landed on her feet, and became a counselor at Shawnee High School, where she is still making a difference in kids’ lives. I taught, went to grad school, taught some more, tried to sell insurance, and finally taught some more. I’m currently also at Shawnee High School, where I teach just a few feet away from my darling bride. It’s a good thing we like each other……

                Yes, we have gone through a lot in these 20 years, as most couples do. Ours in not the perfect marriage- whose is? There have been times when I wanted to strangle my buttercup, and I know for a fact (perhaps even right now) when she has wanted to strangle me. There has been much laughter and many tears. And I can’t think of a better way to have spent these 20 years, then with my best friend. (I know- it’s such a vomit-inducing cliché, but she really is my best friend.) She’s my BFF, my bestie, my Constant, the love of my life. We’re not lovey-dovey huggy-wuggy people, but I know that I will always love her with a passion and an unwavering love, and I can say with certainty that she feels the same for me. I’m not sure I believe in “soul-mates”, or that we’re destined for only one person, or that God provides us with these people. But I do know that every day I thank God for letting be married to Cindy Todd Bartley. Happy Anniversary babe- I love you. Let’s try for another twenty!!!

That Gum You Like is Going to Come Back in Style

Hey kids- I'm afraid it's been too long since my last post. I hope you haven't forgotten me! I'm sure you've been clamoring for my latest entry- and here it is! I feel like I need to write to get over some painful events that have taken place in the past 24 hours. So I'm going to talk about one of the greatest television shows ever to grace the silver screen. Of course, if you haven't already guessed from the title of this post- it's Twin Peaks!! Yes, that show from the 90's that caused millions around the country to gather round the boob tube every week to learn who killed Twin Peaks' sweetheart, Laura Palmer.

You see, back in 1990 I was actually living in sunny Southern California, struggling to be a starving actor. The newspapers and TV guide and entertainment fanzines were all hyping a new show by mastermind director David Lynch that was going to premiere in April on ABC. (Remember, this was back in the days when the internets was just a twinkle in Al Gore's eye.) It sounded interesting, so I watched the pilot episode- and I was immediately hooked. It was like nothing I had ever seen on television before. It was weird, funny, surreal, frightening, and weird, all at the same time. The characters were bizarre, to say the least, and the jazzy musical score added an extra layer of unearthly lushness to each episode. Essentially, it was a soap opera. It had a murder mystery set in a small town, but it also juggled multiple other sub-plots dealing with a plethora of characters. (I believe this is partially what led to its early demise- I think it tried to do TOO much.) But I loved it, and I couldn't wait to watch it each week.

The first season was only 8 episodes, and much to my delight, it was picked up for a second season. That's when the wheels started to fall off. Several things contributed to its death. First, the network wanted the murder resolved, so just a few episodes into the second season, the killer of Laura Palmer was revealed. But now what? The showrunners struggled to create new interesting story lines to want to keep people tuning in. Second, it's masterminds, David Lynch and Mark Frost, had less to do with the show, leaving it to other people. The show limped along in its second season, but Lynch came back for the finale, and it was great! Unfortunately, its ratings had dropped so much, that the network cancelled it. And the show ended on a massive cliffhanger!! What was to become of Agent Cooper???

Why did I love the show so much? Several reasons. Something I've learned about myself is I am really drawn to a story if I like the characters. And Twin Peaks has one of my favorite fictional characters of all time- Agent Dale Cooper. I thought he was so friggin cool. And when he spoke the infamous line "You know, this is- excuse me- a damn fine cup of coffee", I knew I had a soulmate. There were other eccentric characters that I was drawn to as well. All richly drawn, and just a bit strange. The other thing I'm drawn to in a show or film are the visuals. And David Lynch has such a unique, surreal visual and aural style. In fact, I will admit, that I am willing to forgive holes in the plot or other flaws if I am taken in by the characters or the visuals. Recently, my dear friend Alex Greenwood (who is a celebrated novelist- check out Amazon for his newest book "Pilate's Blood"- you won't regret it!) dismissed my darling show as being "weird for weird's sake". And he may be right. But I don't care, because I was drawn into the world of Twin Peaks, and I loved every minute I was there.

So why the sudden interest in a show that's been gone for almost 25 years? Well, brace yourselves kids, just a few weeks ago it was announced that in 2016 Twin Peaks will return for 9 episodes on Showtime, and they will all be written and directed by Frost and Lynch!!! When I saw that, I squealed like a little girl and peed my pants just a bit! You see, in the final episode, in one of the bizarre dream sequences, dream Laura Palmer told dream Dale Cooper she would see him again in 25 years. And it will be 25 years in 2016!!!! Finally some closure! But I'm trying to temper my enthusiasm a bit. Seldom do sequels that have taken decades to get made live up to the originals. (I'm looking at you Phantom Menace, and Indiana Jones.) But a girl can dream, can't she? I can't wait to see the return of Cooper, Sheriff Truman, Audrey, Laura, and the remaining cast of kooks! It may not live up to the original, but with Lynch back at the helm, I know it's going to be a trippy ride! So in 2016 I will subscribe to Showtime, bake a cherry pie, make a pot of hot, black coffee, and step through the Black Lodge (avoiding the dancing dwarf) into the the small, dreamy, northwest town, that is known as Twin Peaks. See you there!!!